21 April 2016

my amanah

My children..

Hold my hands and I will guide you through. 

All I want is for you to grow up to be a successful in this dunya and akhirat.

26 February 2016

Does it matter?

Does it matter if I am a well known, well loved and achieved all the dreams that I want to.. but at the end, what Allah has entrusted me to do in this dunya, I have failed..

I want the best for others, but how about my children? I want to be known, to be respected, to be loved and I love all the praises that others are giving me for all the work I have put in....but I failed to do what Allah commanded me to do..

Allah.. I failed many many times, but you are the most merciful. Ya Allah, may I have time to keep repenting before my time is up.. and Ya Allah may I do my duties as a servant to you and what you have entrusted me to..


24 October 2013

"Allah does not impose upon any soul a duty but to the extent of its ability"

It's been a long time. I have been pretty occupied with 4 kids. Juggling career, chores and kids. Such a heavy load to carry but insya'allah with HIS will there will be a way.

لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتْ وَعَلَيْهَا مَا اكْتَسَبَتْ رَبَّنَا لَا تُؤَاخِذْنَا إِن نَّسِينَا أَوْ أَخْطَأْنَا رَبَّنَا وَلَا تَحْمِلْ عَلَيْنَا إِصْرًا كَمَا حَمَلْتَهُ عَلَى الَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِنَا رَبَّنَا وَلَا تُحَمِّلْنَا مَا لَا طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهِ وَاعْفُ عَنَّا وَاغْفِرْ لَنَا وَارْحَمْنَا أَنتَ مَوْلَانَا فَانصُرْنَا عَلَى الْقَوْمِ الْكَافِرِينَ

Allah does not impose upon any soul a duty but to the extent of its ability; for it is (the benefit of) what it has earned and upon it (the evil of) what it has wrought: Our Lord! do not punish us if we forget or make a mistake; Our Lord! do not lay on us a burden as Thou didst lay on those before us, Our Lord do not impose upon us that which we have not the strength to bear; and pardon us and grant us protection and have mercy on us, Thou art our Patron, so help us against the unbelieving people.
(English - Shakir)

13 February 2013

The birth of Aqiefah Arieana - 26 January 2013

All praise to Allah for the beautiful gift. We are truly blessed with another princess in our family.

I still remember on 8 June 2012 when I was late for a few days & it came out positive. A mixed feeling of being excited as well as nervous. I do not know what the future will be for us with another member added to the family. As much as we wanted to have another & are prepared to have another. We cannot predict what the future will be. Insya'allah, with the gift given, it will be a smooth sailing for us all.

This pregnancy was so far different from the rest of the 3. My first time experience having mucus plug discharged, a bloody show and the water bag burst naturally. I am truly blessed to be able to go through all different birth experience. First birth, being induced and the pain was terrible, second having to go through c-section as my son was in breech position, third going through all natural birth after a c-section without being induced and without any pain relief. It was a crazy experience I tell you! And lastly, having to go through what is mucus plug discharged, the bloody show and water bag burst naturally.

This time, my husband managed to witness the whole birth process. With me feeling very calm after the epidural, both were able to go through the process smoothly.

The night on Friday night on 25 January 2013, I was having contraction an hour apart after the bloody show. I told husband to stand-by. Had a nap and the contraction was manageable. We went out for our silat training as husband and my MIL do not want me to be home alone. While waiting for them to finish their training, the contraction seems to be closer to half an hour apart. Sat around for some discussion after the training and I got the feeling that it is going to be today!

Told the husband that it is better we head down to KKH since my last check, my cervix was already 3.5 cm dilated. Sent the kids home then we went to the hospital. The mid wife prepared the room, I got changed and waited for the moment to come. It was nearing to 1 am.

At about 3 am the contraction got 5 mins apart, my baby's heart beat was low therefore mid wife told me to turn to the left. Cervix checked - 4 cm! I was already in terrible pain! I got agitated and fuming mad. I kept reminding them about the epidural. It was only administered at 3 plus. Since the pain relief took a while to work, I told the mid wife I got the urge to pass motion! She checked and there my baby was crowning. From 4 cm it was wide opened to 10 cm.

Mid wife asked whether I want to start pushing or I want to wait for my gynae. Since we were all ready for the arrival of our princess, I gave the green light that we will deliver the baby without my gynae. Everything was so fast. Our princess was delivered by the mid wife at 4.01 am. Husband recited some prayers and then I held her in my arm. A beautiful moment indeed.

Our new member, Aqiefah Arieana (devoted & full of life) born on 
26 January 2013, Saturday
14 Rabiul'Awal 1434H at 4.01 am.

From 3, now it's 4. 

Thank you for all your well wishes and presents.

Now Mummy & Ayah have to work extra hard!

23 January 2013

Counting down..

The waiting period sure making me nervous. As advised by Dr Goh, I am to take my leave and rest on the 2nd week of January. Took slightly later after Dr Goh confirmed that my cervix has dilated 2.5 cm and she told me that I should be ready for labour this week. Guess baby is so comfy inside.

This pregnancy is sure far different from the others. First time I experienced mucus plug discharged and hell sure it frightened me! I went to KKH to get it checked but the nurse there told me since there is no contraction and no leaking of my water bag, it is safe for me to be home.

Ah... so baby you are not ready as yet. After that incident, I tell you I have no contraction pain at all. Just that it's getting heavier each day and I have difficulty waking up and walking at times. The backache is killing me too!

So let see what Dr Goh has to say tomorrow for another check up.

04 November 2012


So as usual, we started our weekends staying at home. Husband new work schedule requires him to work on Saturday from 7 am till 7 pm. So usually it will be just me and the kids. Yesterday, I wanted to cook pasta in bolognese sauce. Drove down to Junction 10 Giant and bought the stuffs for our meal. Since I was craving for ondeh-ondeh and most said it is pretty simple to do, I decided to give it a try as well. While looking around, I was thinking that the hub would love banana fritters. That was in my list as well yesterday.

Reached home and started preparing all the ingredients for our meal. Started with the pasta then the banana fritters and followed by ondeh-ondeh. Lucky I have bibik to help me with the ondeh-ondeh. After doing the dough, I can't barely stand and the pressure on my lower abdominal was not comfortable at all.

Yesterday was just indulging in good food for me!

With this pregnancy, there are always good food for me to enjoy. Alhamdulillah.

Today, with much disappointment I have to cancel the Legoland Malaysia trip as our budget does not permit for this month. With road tax, insurance and the tyres need to be replaced, myself and hub decided it is not the right time for now.

We decided to bring the kids to Port of the Lost Wonder in Sentosa. See, adult entrance fee is FREE! We only need to pay for the kids. Kids get to enjoy, we also save on our budget. Hee!

Started the day having our breakfast at Al-Azhar. Me been wanting to eat Appom finally settled with my craving and I also had Coin Pratas too! Tsk! Tsk!

Kids as usual requested for egg prata and hub with his masala tosai and of course we share the Appom. I am not that 'gagah' okie!

Done with breakfast off we headed down to Sentosa. They got all excited and ready to rock the place!

The kids got burnt and the weather looked gloomy. We decided to end the day and headed down to ARC for lunch - McDonald's!

Hub decided not to eat and wanted me to prepare for him Fried Macaroni since yesterday we have some leftovers pasta. Reached home and prepared his lunch cum dinner. A fulfilling day today.